Red Bastard: "The lies you tell yourself"

Everybody lies, writes Red Bastard

feature (adelaide) | Read in About 3 minutes
Published 07 Mar 2018
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Red Bastard

To the lady who said, “Do you really believe that shit you just said on stage?” 

YES.  You are a liar. Nom nom nom!

But not just her. You ALL lie! Nom Nom! And listen – I don’t mind. Really I don’t. Because the dirty secret is… I’m a monster, too!

Hypocrites have called me a monster for millenia. Do you remember proclaiming me an abomination of nature? How you hurled your stones at my misshapen body and laughed as you banished me to the swamp? 

I starved! But I survived. (giggle). Like the echo of a memory. Now it’s my turn to laugh! The monster you hid away has returned. My new home? Your. Mind. Nom nom!

That funny little Bastard is now a FEAR FEEDER. And the banquet has just begun! Ha ha!

Can you remember your dream last night? No? Think hard! Perhaps you’ll remember me. Dancing in your desires. Balancing on the abyss. And ohhhhhh the things I’ve learned. Yes, I know your secrets. You beautiful liars, you. (giggle)

"But everyone lies," you protest! It’s true. To lie is to live. And yes, everyone loves. To live is to love. But YOU’VE lied about LOVE. Tsk tsk tsk. That’s against THE RULES. Mwa ha ha! Nom nom.

"Love is sacred!" You’ve proclaimed it over and over. Your literature, your movies, your religious laws. But the rules you allowed are the very rules that would not allow you to love! (titter titter)

I’ve seen you. Touching others. Typing your flirty messages. Sneaking glances. And oh those dreams. Hot stuff! (snicker)

Listen. It’s ok.  

I don’t care how you love. Truly I don’t. You can feel what you want. As long as you keep LYING about it… because the thing I love most is FEAR. And where there’s a lie…. sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.

That’s why I LOVE the way you love. You lie soooooooo much! Ha haaaa! The lies you tell your partners – "I can’t think of a thing I’d change about you." Nom nom nom. The lies you tell yourself – "They’re just a friend. I don’t think of them THAT WAY." Nom Nom. The lies you tell everyone because those are the lies everyone told you.

Love wrapped in lies, wrapped in love. Til you can’t even tell what’s love and what’s a lie. (burp). Who’s the abomination of nature now, my friends? 

So yeah. You better believe I meant it lady. Nom. Fucking. Nom! We are gonna have some funnnnnnn tonight! ;)