An Audience with John Smeaton

Former baggage handler and one-man war on terror John Smeaton is the closest thing to a superhero Glasgow will ever see.

After helping to foil the rather feeble 2007 terrorist attack at Glasgow Airport—bravely groining a man who was already on fire—the imaginatively nicknamed "Smeato" was soon subjected to rabid media adulation of the order recently experienced by Susan Boyle.

Famously straight-talking and opinionated, he will be enlightening Edinburgh audiences with his own brand of Everyman philosophy and doing his bit to cement Glasgow’s reputation for mouthy hard men. Expect tales of two-week comas, fly fishing and Stateside travels, as well as his "top ten ways to have fun" and a potentially hilarious audience Q&A session.

Arnold Brown, host and doyen of Glasgow comedy, will be at the other end of Smeaton’s leash, presumably to keep the proceedings from descending into utter chaos.