Puppetry of the Penis: 3D

There is a palpable excitement among the young crowd as our puppeteers bound on stage, dressed in full length colourful capes. But these don't stay on for long. A swish and a swirl later, Rich and Fitchy—self-styled experts in genital origami—are wearing only socks and trainers, tugging away with gay abandon. 

And so it begins: they stretch one bit, they squish another, they contrive a penis pun. They do another. And another. Squish, stretch, cock joke. Meanwhile, projected behind them onto a massive screen is a poke-your-eye-out 3D model of a squished and stretched wang, just in case you missed the point. 

For a while, the boys ride a wave of anarchic excitement, but this doesn't last. Unfortunately, and perhaps inevitably, Puppetry of the Penis: 3D becomes very repetitive very quickly. I first check my watch after 20 minutes. After 30, I'm ready for the lights to come up.

Some squishing, some stretching, then a cock joke.

About forty minutes in, the first walk-outs start. These people aren't storming out in furious indignation, shocked and appalled at this flagrant abuse of taste and dignity. They're bored and they want to do something else. 

Some squishing, some stretching, then a cock joke.

Now, let's be clear, no one is going to come along to Pupptery of the Penis: 3D expecting cultural enlightenment. This makes no claim to be anything other than two men playing with their willies. But the very least one can expect is to be entertained and, in fairness, for 15 minutes it's funny. But this isn't a 15-minute show. It's squishing, stretching, cock joke. Squishing, stretching, cock joke. Squishing, stretching, cock joke.

For an hour.