The Fest Directory: James Campbell

Hermiston Gait Shopping Centre

Cultins Rd, Edinburgh EH11 4DG

I'm not usually a fan of supermarkets but this one is great. It's so huge you can almost forget that you're in a shop at all. I like to pretend that I'm actually in a space station, gathering alien supplies for a mission to another galaxy. I don't know a lot about intergalactic travel but I'm guessing you would need a lot of food and towels. If you're in Edinburgh though, it's a really nice place to go to get away from it all. You can watch normal people doing their shopping and being frustrated with the self-service checkout. 

Food: 10 (there's everything)

Drink: 10 (there's everything)

Atmosphere: 0 (the lighting is too harsh).

Fringeyness: 0 (unless you are hungry.

Secret Power: Just off the bypass.

Fatal Flaw: Has probably killed some small businesses.

Scald Law

The Pentlands, South West Edinburgh

This is one of the Pentland hills to the south of Edinburgh. You can see from most places if you look outwards enough. Scald Law is the biggest but is still less than 600m in altitude so you can climb it in about an hour. From the top you can look down on the whole city and get things into perspective. Even Arthur's Seat is below you. There are also nice pubs and activities in the area.

Food: 6 for local pubs

Drink: 6

Atmosphere: 10

Fringeyness: 0

Secret Power: Fresh air.

Fatal Flaw: None.

Davidson Mains Park

East Barnton Avenue, Edinburgh, EH4 6AQ

One year, I stayed in Davidson Mains for a laugh. It really is a lovely part of Edinburgh and my favourite thing about it is that nobody there has ever heard of the Fringe. The fish and chip shop's only poster is advertising a circus that's coming to town in September. The park is excellent for children. I was once there with my boy and saw a man put his baby on the swing and then leave. He came back half an hour later and I asked him if he liked taking his children to the park. He said "It's better than hooverin!". I'd kill for a review like that.

Food: n/a

Drink: n/a

Atmosphere: 6 depending on the fog

Fringeyness: 0.

Secret Power: Better than hoovering.

Fatal Flaw: You have to get bus.

Oxgangs Library

343 Oxgangs Road North, EH13 9LY.

This is my favourite venue in Edinburgh. I did a show here last year and because of the way Edinburgh City Council's finance system works, I still haven't been paid. What I love about it is the innate honesty of the people in the area. Also, it's a building full of books. In there you will find everything you need or want to know. It is run by a stern line of women and men, guarding the written word from decay.

Food: n/a

Drink: n/a

Atmosphere: 6 (quiet)

Fringeyness: 10 (it's very subversive to sit in a library these days).

Secret Power: Free books.

Fatal Flaw: It's endangered.

Canongate Cemetry

153 Canongate, Edinburgh, EH8 8BN

I used to come here every day. It's the quietest place I could find. Some of the graveyards in Edinburgh are full of famous folks and stories but this one is just a nice humble place to be. It's good for picnics and meditating. Or both.

Food: 6 (bring your own)

Drink: 6 (bring your own)

Atmosphere: 6 (dead)

Fringeyness: 5

Secret Power: It's quiet and free.

Fatal Flaw: No one talks to you.