Chaz Royal presents the Sexy Circus Sideshow

“This floor’s covered in jewels, sparkles and blood,” muses a dapper dwarf, as he surveys the post-show carnage. “That’s the sign of a good night.” Indeed, this sexy circus even comes complete with pre-show safety instructions, due to the presence of whirling naked flames.

There are naked bodies too, of course, or near enough. Burlesque has become an acceptable middle-class evening-out in recent years, a bit of gentle titillation before settling down with another few chapters of 50 Shades of Grey. Chaz Royal’s affair is from the darker side of the tracks, however, somewhere between Cabaret-era Berlin, Freaks and The Rocky Horror Show. 

This evening’s main act are the Monsters of Schlock, two heavy metal dudes who hold several world records and tell bad jokes while inserting sharp things into themselves, with the assistance of female audience members. A giggly girl called Roxanne steals the show here, twisting herself like a trainee contortionist as she extracts a large nail while pointing everything in the opposite direction.

Then it’s time for the showgirls, and a varied array of shapes and skills. The ‘stripping is empowering’ argument doesn’t appease everyone but there is something oddly heart-warming about a cellulite-heavy backside jiggling proudly, to whoops and hollers, without the input of Gok Wan.

But the show’s real hero emerges when the Monsters of Schlock then reappear. As they scour the back row for a volunteer after 40 minutes of thoroughly entertaining onstage mayhem, one chap is clearly asleep. Now that really is impressive.